President Obama to Shore-Up Coast Guard for Afghanistan? (Humor rating: L (light))

As a multi-service Department of Defense investment the ‘war’ of nation building in Afghanistan to create a ‘democratic’ government like that of the Shah of Iran is dedicated to the capitalist ideal of spending money and bullets to promote civic virtue.

The foreign policy adventure is presently under the supervision of Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Mullins-an advocate for a gay friendly military affording servicemen a political incorrect opportunity for happy dating of Afghanistan’s Taliban warriors, blowing kisses and so forth. Admiral Mullins has the military and political skill set needed to bring the Democratic Party vision of a brave new world to the high Asian barbarians. Afghanistan needs a Coast Guard like the U.S. Government needs an Admiral to coordinate military security for the Karzai Government. Admiral Mullins knows all about running ships in excellent patterns at sea.

With job losses in the United States putting millions out of work the synthetic government-building project in Afghanistan is another federal jobs stimulus program for-itself. Admiral Mullins is the right guy to create a Coast Guard for Afghanistan following along with the logic of the endeavor.

How many Afghanis have been matriculated into the Naval Academy one might ask, for that could be the reason the Taliban homicide-suicide bombers have been destroying fossil fuel powered vehicles without right proper interdiction instead of being arrested by an Afghan Department of Homeland Security.

Making an economically efficient government in Afghanistan following the role model of the U.S. Government is challenging for the administration; Afghanistan has few resources to waste as extravagantly as does the United States, and hasn’t got as high of a credit rating to borrow money for expensive machines and other pollution producing devices to stimulate economic development.

Republican Party Chairman Steele rightly called this ‘Obama’s war. President Obama could really make it so by directing a supplemental appropriations bill that would create an Afghanistan Coast Guard and simulated ocean shoreline. Coast Guardsman from the U.S. East Coast could be relocated to Afghanistan to man-woman the new potential fleet in shoreline bunkers until the ships arrive, and replaced offshore with former Louisiana oil skimming civilians once their oil clean-up job details are completed.

The cost for an Afghanistan Coast Guard fleet of fourteen efficient aluminum gas turbine powered dreadnaught turbo interceptor-destroyers should be just $199 billion dollars borrowed from China at 10% interest to taxpayers—a steal at the price. One can never be patriotic enough about national defense and keeping Afghanistan free of the Taliban so Americans can be free to be unemployed and afford their own tents in reasonable security.