Sanctifying American Ancestral Dinosaur Oil Underground (fiction)

When I interviewed a resistance fighter of the oil underground-a mujahideen for cheap gas, I asked why he thought it right that holey war should be waged on the export of American crude oil. He said that; “American dinosaurs sacrificed their lives in many instances to become today’s deep oil fracked to the surface in an undignified way. They are the spiritual ancestors of today’s politicians that would end the ban on exporting oil to North Korea, Cuba any foreign nation with the cash to plunder their mortal remains. When so many generations of proud American dinosaurs lying deep underground went into making today’s crude oil, how is it that so little respect is given to their mortal remains?

Corrupt politicians would send ancestral oil abroad to become foreign machine pharts -in-the-air in disorder to reduce U.S. oil supply, desecrate their memory and gouge worshippers of gasoline at national sacred churches of wholly petroleum. Americans venerating the oil of their political ancestral dinosaurs would keep the communion of gasoline beneath 50 cents per gallon.

Ancestral dinosaurs of American politicians died to make men phree. If phreedom is not phree, sanctified go-juice should dat least cost fewer than 50 cents a gallon. So long as the rivers run and the Gobi desert west hasn’t reached Chicago we will fight to make men and women phree.”