New Jazzy Supreme Court says; "Pigs are Free to Fly"

The Supreme Court of New Jazzy voted 6 to 0 to let pig go ahead and fly. Pilot licenses will be issued to applicants today. With reports of laser beams hitting commercial aircraft pilots approaching New York City alone reaching hundreds annually the financial prize for inventing a pair of laser-beam filtering sunglasses or visor is high. What would airlines pay for a pair of polarized anti-laser beams glasses? We thought to interview a typical pig in an aircraft pigsty.

“Capt. Pig, international swine have been piloting aircraft for some years now yet New Jazzy has lagged behind until recently, what was the reason for that?”

The swine had opaque the pigsty windows to defrappe laser beams and had a heads-up display visor in real-time of the New York flight way that screened out too bright light automatically, he said,

“To install a laser light direction finder on aircraft to locate the laser pointer source and send the coordinates to an N.Y.P.D. computer was a small leap for swine. The problem of social repression of swine and affirmative action taken to get rid of traditional values of oppression on the other hoof is a horse of a different color.”

I thought as an interviewer that a lecture by Captain Pig in a pigsty was a bit onerous, yet I listened in rapt fascination to his dissertation.

“Feminist and homosexual values are not simply Yin. Homosexuality Yin transcends the borders of Yin and Yang infusing entropy to the dialectical progressive advance of pigkind. When there are just too many pigs down on the farm advancing with affirmative action and over consuming the farmer’s limited natural resources population increase needs to stop to halt the overconsumption of non-renewable resources. Think-sty research believed that feminist and homosexual swine political philosophy would stop the population growth. Fag pig population declines for obvious reasons while feminist swine are believed to stop dropping piglets in preference for increased affluence when they can’t be troubled to dote on young swine. That isn’t true. In fact it’s a dangerous lie.

Male aggression is the only political power that can overcome the female lack of territoriality. Female pigs could be happy with 340 or 300 billion swine on Y’Earth while male pigs would kill each other off long before then and keep the population down. Male pigs are happy with a home on the range with a population density of just one pig per square 1000 miles while female pigs demand shops, mirrors and glamour boutiques with thousands of servants. Even if the number of swine decreases overall, increasing feminine swine affluence means that the increased desire for consumption of the lady swine becomes a scalar field increase with consumption for society increasing overall. Population reduction with increased resource consumption just means the obsolete value theory of generations of prior swine remains maximized to the optimal state of greed. True swine have new and better theories of male aggression and traditional values sublimated to positive fair and balanced ends. The means are swell as well.”

Well Captain Pig that does seem to mean a bacon of hope exists for the consumers of the new world order yearning to consume resources of North America and elsewhere across the globe with potential for exploitation with better technologies of extraction.

“Yes. Pigs have learned to fly and will make the better new world order.”