6/24/17

Another Naval Surface Battle-U.S.N. Missile-Destroyer Edmund Fitzgerald (humor news)

In the first naval surface battle in some time for the United States Navy, an American destroyer was set upon by the Crystal Ship in the sea of Japan. On a dark and stormy night when not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse, the advanced missile destroyer frigate's technical crows nest and advanced combat viewing facility was on the blink. The ship would have no advanced warning or premonition from the national technical ship traffic satellite surveillance 'black boxes' network of the presence of hostile enemy surface craft in the area.

The Sea of Japan is known as the second 'skeleton coast', named after the first along the western littoral of South Africa where Nazi u-boats sank so much allied shipping swooping up out of the depths during the Second World War. The southern reaches of the Sea of Japan are notorious for the presence of cargo-hunter-ships and especially dangerous are those Captained by John Bligh-Depth.

The Crystal Ship emerging from a fog of uncertainty of war at the orders of Captain Johnny Bligh-Depth got up to ramming speed with oarsmen on steroids. He ordered his assassin-marines to the rigging with grappling hooks and muskets. With their precise air-horn echo-finding ship locator they found and target the Edmund Fitzgerald and within 10 minutes of panic, fear and stress about the U.S.national debt of 20 trillion dollars the lethal bow of the Crystal Ship found the soft-underbelly of the Fitzgerald and struck it a near-mortal blow.

It was only fifteen minutes later viewing the foundering Fitzgerald in aft-directional radar that Captain Depth saw the Fitz had not yet gone belly up and sank to meet with Captain Davy Jones on the abyssal sea floor. Thus he had the Crystal Ship execute a 180 degree turn at ramming speed bring the ship to heel over at 40 degrees to make another run at the hapless Fitzgerald. Rescuers for the distressed Fitzgerald arrived before the Crystal Ship coup administer the coup de grace. The recalcitrant Crystal Ship sailed away in disgust.

http://www.ocregister.com/2017/06/16/uss-fitzgerald-collides-with-merchant-ship-off-japan-7-us-navy-sailors-reportedly-missing/


Analysts from the Defense Advanced Research Projects agency said they are developing a new breed of oceanic hunter-bats capable of forming a defense warning perimeter around ships operating in dangerous waters in the dark to provide advanced threat-ship detection capability.

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